Once upon a time there was a man named Chase who was from the Two Rivers. Little did he know that he was Clark reborn. He was clanned into the Gaidin by Reigher, who got an earful from Hammar because Hammar thinks that Chase is an idiot. Chase one day found a book and a pen, and began to write...
Entry One:
I'm el Country Bumpkin, lol! Hammar was yelling at me again today, "Go chop some ****ing wood!" I love my leader. He's my leader.
Entry Two:
I was in a cavalry today! We went all the way to the Great Blut. I compared my leader with a lot of immovable object. A trolloc visited our camp in the middle of the night. Only, it couldn't have been a trolloc since I decided it wasn't. He looked kind of like Mr. Gestahl. Tall, big eyes, kinda smelledid like him too. Hammar fought him bravely, "Get the boy!", Hammar cried valiantly, directing the orc-man in my direction, but got cut and would have died had the rest of the camp not waken up in time. I love camping.
Entry Three:
lol, Hammer said something funny today, "GOD, you're ****ing stupid. I should have let that Black sister bond you back there." I love my leader. He's my leader.
Entry Four:
We decided to go to Fal's Dora since it smelled like rotting carctuseses in the Blut. I kept hearing a wierd voice screaming "Clark!" with a bunch of other slang while we was in the blight still. Strange, I wonder what that means. Oh Light, Hammar is landing those arrows awfully close to me. He has bad aim. We're bestest friends.
Entry Five:
We have arrived at Fal's Dora today. Some guy offered me a drink, only I didn't want it. He kept screaming "Chug! Chug! Chug!". lol, I think it was Trin. We met a guy named Norum. Nice guy. The kind of guy you can trust.
Entry Six:
I think Mr. Gestahl is following us.
Entry Seven:
We left Fal's Dora today because we wanted to. The gentleman Norum joined our group today. Hammar said he'd be a blademaster if he followed his seven step program every day, "This is the boy's weak spot!", he said, glancing in my direction. Me and Hammar are friends.
Entry Eight:
Oh, lordy! Mr. Gestahl killed Norum last night. I rushed hearoicly to the scene and slashed Mr. Gestahl into a cheese pizza, only he didn't die since five more of himself appeared. I think Mr. Gestahl is a gleeman, but he looks like an orc!
Entry Nine:
Oh, Light! I met the Creator today. Only I couldn't see him because I had my eyes closed. He likes to talk loud and mysteriously. He said something about some mud shutting down. I wonder what that means. sh**! Everything is getting dark!
Entry Ten:
I think I'm all out of ink.
Entry Eleven:
We have arrivered at the big sandcastle Tar Valon. My other boss Reigher and me had some tea in a room. The big red door flew open to ummit Hammar, "Warrant the boy!", he screamed, and Reigher passed the orders. LoL! Whoever he's after is in big trouble.
Entry Twelve:
The local national guards of Tar Valon are playing Jak o' the Swords with me even though I declined politely. Oh my, Hammar is going to get lung cancer screaming like that. Light! They'll let the boy escape!
Entry Thirteen:
The real Mr. Gestahl made a gate and I ran through to stop the persuit of my captors. Light! I'm at Camelot! I'll have to write more when I have time!
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Entry Fourteen:
I was dubbed Sir Chasalot, lol. I work for the Queen of Camelot. I called her "royal lowness", since she was so short, but she made flames come out of her eyes. I met my leader Tallanvor. He's like a walking stick and likes to glare. I miss Hammar.
Entry Fifteen:
Oh lord, Tallanvor and Her Lowness were playing rugrats in the bedroom. lol, they did the dirty-dirty. I must have been desperate because I stood guard for a long time. I miss Norum.
Entry Sixteen:
Oh my, I gived the item my leader was looking for to him twelveteen times and he stood there saying "This item is invalid." and giving it back. God! My leader is a retard.
Entry Seventeen:
OMFG!!!11!!1ONE1, I had a dream of Norum and Hammar playing Chase in the middle. lol, I'll be having roids tomorrow.
Entry Eighteen:
Light! The palace gate is being a Nargdoor!
Entry Nineteen:
After the un-evit-able problem of the gate and countless attempts of explaining the problem to this guy wearing a hat with a big -Z-, I turned to this fellow Galnor(interesting chap he is indeed!), and he fixed the problem.
Entry Twenty:
Dear Light, I ran into this garbage-man named Atkins today. He likes garbage. In fact, he says he'll never be able to stop saying the word garbage. lol, I think he likes garbage.
Entry Twenty-One:
Dear Me, I decided to move back to Fal's Dora today because I wanted to. I bought me an axe called a hand-axe. I bet it's called that because you have to use two hands. Fortunamente, I am so strong that I can carry it with only one hand, lol.
Entry Twenty-Two:
I saw an old hermit named Zorth on the road today. He was old. At least, he walks with his back hunched, and a dark cloak, hood up-omfg, fade anyone?-. He has his eyes rolleded up when I tried to offer him a place in the honorable cavalry of the Sandcastle Tar Valon!
"ur one of them...", he cried, "im not tulon! oh, i want to die if i hear that again... away, hrum, dihrum!", and he stumbled away.
Ohh! His name is Tulon!! I'll remember to call him that next time I see him. Maybe he won't be so hostile then. Poor guy. I guess he misses being called by his real name...
Entry Twenty-Three:
Dearest Diary, LOL!!! You won't believe what I saw on Camelot road. Two trollocs doin tha dirty dirty. lol, they keep saying "NORYA", "OH LITHIUM!". Shit, they heard me laughing. Time to r......
Chase drops his diary and jets.
Unknown Entry:
LOLZERZ!! l00k wut i f0u/\/d!!!!!!!
T|-|e trulluck /\/@rG t@ugt m3 t00 r3@d!!
0|\/|GZZ!!! S0/\/\30ne S|-|0tz |_ithiu/\/\!! 0|-| |\|0hhhhhhhhhhhhhz!!!!!
The book is dropped by the unknown author.
Entry Twenty-Four:
Oh my lord, those two orcs were having a tea party! The one called Lithium must have felt the wrath of Norum's soul come to rescue me! Out of nowheres, a big stick broked his chest. Poor Lithium. I wonder where the other one went... Hey! He wrote in my diary! WTF!
Entry Twenty-Five:
Guess what! I saw Tulon stumbling along. I thought I'd cheer him. "Tulon", I heroicly cried! And he fell down. LoL! Gotchya! He must be soo suprised.
Entry Twenty-Six:
Dear Diary, I am speaking to the orc-man Norya. He says he will show me "teh way t00 oz" if i give him my diary. He keeps hacking. Or maybe he's saying "hack", I don't know. I spent two tics confering with him and he seems to enjoy writing.
Lord, guess this is it diary. You're my bestest friend. Goodbye.
The End! I'm done picking on Chase. I'll find someone else's diary next and write about them.
Norya/Lithium: Sorry, if you dont like your part I'll take it out.
