Jack Bauer Figured Out Why The MUD Lags So Much

[Jack]

You are a 34 year old male human God.
Your mood is currently: Not-Brave
Your height is 5 feet, 11 inches, weight 220 pounds, weight carried Unthinkable # of lbs, worn: UnBEARABLE # of lbs.
Offensive Bonus: > 200 Dodge Bonus: > 150, Parry Bonus: >= 220
You are wanted by the following groups: All
Your abilities are: Str: 25, Int: 99, Wis: 99, Dex: 29, Con: 22
You have died 0 times, 0 times to other players, 0 times to monsters, faked 2 deaths, and killed a TON of other worthy players.
Your armor absorbs ALL damage on average.
You are affected by:
BERSERKER
BOOMING VOICE
NIGHT VISION
GLEAMING EYES
ICE-COLD STARE
PERFECT SPELLING @ 250 WPM

HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >

change mood brave
Jack Bauer is changing moods. Come back in 15 minutes.

HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >
HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >

Chase narrates, 'LAG'
Guerro narrates, 'wtf im logging off too much lag'
Someone speaks loudly to the Light, 'Lag anyone?'
Musashi narrates, 'lol jack not again'
Trin narrates, 'i want to be like you jack'
Someone shouts, 'i HaHe YoL Ja:k BOW^R I AL@WST G)T TH#T KI(L!3!d'!'
Cifon narrates, 'That's so annoying...'
Dakeyras narrates, 'lol for once it's not my dialup'
Bob narrates, 'i quit again'

HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >

You narrate, 'Oops, did I do that?'

HP:Healthy MV:Fresh >


Not even GOD can fix Jack Bauer's lag.

[Trin]

yes why would i want to be an imposter exactly? the embodiment of all pussification calling himself jack bauer. a person who stabs people in the back calling that 'fighting' calling himself jack bauer. pfft.

can even tell this one isn't jack bauer. jack bauer is taller than 5'1.